jokes
These are kind of old, but still funny:
How do you drown a blonde?
Hold her head underwater until she can no longer breathe and stops struggling.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Repeated absences and stealing.
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A black man is going to get a vasectomy. He shows up to the doctor’s
office wearing a suit. The doctor says “Why are you wearing a suit?”
The black man says “I just got back from a funeral”
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Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because it was just the decomposing remains of a long forgotten murder
case in a remote field.
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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
” Would you like an ice pack? “
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Jesus is hanging on the cross and John approaches.
John says: “Jesus, its John. How may I serve thee ain thy time of need?”
Jesus replies: “YEEEAAAAAAAARGGHGGGHGGHGGGHGGHGGH!!!!!”
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A man spends his first day in prison talking to his cell mate. His
cell mate gives him a few tips on surviving maximum security in his
first weeks there, and then pauses to look outside the bars of the
cell.
“I got an escape plan”, says the man’s cell mate.
“What is it?”
“Put this blanket over your head, and I’ll tell you what to do when
the guard comes back.”
The man puts the blanket over his head, and his cell mate begins to
rape him. Savagely.
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A man walks into a bar
He drinks 6 Newcastles, 4 shots of Jack Daniels, hits on the waitress
unsuccessfully, takes his wedding ring off, tried again and fails,
drinks 3 more shots, drives home, beats his daughter for coming home
late, and cries himself to sleep realizing that he hates his life.
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