Here’s an amusing Vice article of 5 guys recalling a time they tripped on shrooms 20 years ago. I think I like reading about the experiences of people on drugs more than I like actually taking drugs.
“It was 1985, Halloween night, and a group of young Canadian suburban teenagers had decided to try magic mushrooms over at Marco’s house. They dropped about a gram each into mugs of hot water, covered them with Saran Wrap, waited about 15 minutes, and drank them. The next seven hours fucked them up so intensely they still remember every minute detail 20 years later.
We assembled five of the nine boys (well, men—they’re all around 35 years old now) that were there that night, put them in a Montreal bar, and asked them to relive every detail. They are: Marco, a musician and producer who lives with his girlfriend in rural Canada; Peter, an engineer who married his high school girlfriend and lives with her in San Diego; Blake, a musician and graphic designer who lives in Ottawa with some pals; Eric, a chef and musician who lives in Montreal by himself; and Kevin, a pub owner who lives in London with his fiancée. The only people that were there that have kids now refused to talk to us.
Kevin: I’m amazed at how much I remember from that night.
Peter: I’ll be interested to hear what you guys remember.
Marco: Oh, remember feelings? When we discovered people have feelings?
Kevin: Oh yeah, Eric came out with that stupid mask on and tried to scare us but you can’t scare people on shrooms. When he leaped over the couch and screamed with that mask on we just said, “What are you doing?” Even kind of pissed off. I remember saying, “Don’t yell.”
Marco: Then he took it off and his face was all red.
Kevin [to Marco]: Then you go, “Look, he’s embarrassed! People have feelings. You can hurt people.” Then we would talk about feelings like we were aliens experiencing them for the first time. “I think I’m angry now. No, I think I have to go piss.” Then we’d scream-laugh for about an hour because someone thought anger was piss.
Peter: I remember laughing so hard I was actually kind of scared.
Blake: I remember trying to physically push air into my body because I had been laughing so hard I thought I might suffocate.
Eric: I remember how the mask thing started. I went wandering around Marco’s house and his mom had all these African masks in the good living room. His house had a nice living room for guests and a dirty living room. All Italians did that. We were only allowed in the second one. I was secretly lurking around the good one and I took down one of the masks and—it must have been 20 minutes—I crawled across the dining room and the kitchen and got to the back of the couch where most of you guys were sitting, and then I put the mask over my face and tried to scare you. I felt like such a loser after that.
Blake: I remember that made the dog bark like crazy. What was his name again, Figby?
Marco: Yeah, Figby. Poor little guy. He died a few years ago.
Peter: I thought I had shit my pants for the longest time but it was Figby. He was really gassy that night and I thought it was me. I kept checking my ass crack to see if there was shit in it. And then I’d have a farty smell on my fingers which made it worse. When I finally figured out it was him that was reeking I was so fucking happy.
Blake: Poor dog. He didn’t understand why we were freaking out so much about little things. He was barking his fucking head off.
Peter: He looked like a full-size dog with no legs [basset hound]. I remember getting down on the ground to understand what it was like to be him. We all tried to get as flat as possible. It gave me a lot of perspective.
Blake: Yeah, then we all got on the ground.
Kevin: I remember a section of us crawling over to the area near the garage where you take your shoes off.
Marco: My mom called that the mudroom.
Kevin: Yeah, and about five of us crawled in there and our legs became intertwined and we were writhing around yelling for food.
Peter: Not that we were actually hungry.
Blake: I was in that thing. We were like some kind of monster that Jabba the Hut would throw warriors in with to test their skills. We had all these tentacles and heads and we were yelling and groaning. I was really into it. Like, I believed it.
Peter: I remember Paul would open the sliding door and throw bread in and we’d all go “WhhrrrAAAAAA” and eat at it. Not really eat it but chew it for a while. I remember having wet bread all over my face.
Kevin: How did that end?
Marco: I don’t know if this is what ended that but there was a commotion in the kitchen because there was a big sharp knife on the kitchen table and nobody could pick it up to put it away.
Kevin: I remember that. It was evil. Whenever you tried to pick it up you felt like killing people.
Peter: I remember thinking, “What are all these pussies bitching about?” and I walked over to pick it up and put it away, but as soon as I had it in my hands I felt this blanket of evil wash over me. It gave me some super-evil ideas. I had to drop it right away. Like it was hot.
Eric: Drop it like it’s hot.
Marco: Nobody could pick it up. Then Collin came up with the idea of getting a huge towel and throwing it on the knife and then grabbing the whole bundle, taking it to the cutlery drawer and letting the knife fall in by shaking the towel.
Kevin: After that we were all cheering. He was a hero.
Eric: Didn’t Collin disappear after that?
Marco: Yeah, he was up in my mom’s bathroom for the longest fucking time. I think about two hours.
Eric: Oh yeah! And he eventually came down and he was all red and sweaty. I think he went in there and was trying on all her perfumes and oils and stuff. He reeked. Can you fucking imagine what he was doing there with all those mirrors and beauty products? It must have looked like a slow-motion fag fest.
Marco: I was pretty pissed at him after that.
Eric: I remember him saying, “Your mom has a lot of fucking stuff.” That became his thing after that at house parties, remember? Disappearing into the parents’ bathroom and fucking with our moms’ stuff. One party he came out wearing my mom’s bra and panties. I think my parents thought it was me when they found them on the floor.
Blake: Whatever happened to Collin?
Peter: I don’t know. We don’t talk anymore. We had some fight where I accused him of overstaying his welcome at my house. That was about ten years ago. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t think anybody’s spoken to him.
Kevin: That was pretty funny though.
Peter: Remember when the doorbell rang and it was trick-or-treaters?
Kevin: Holy shit. We had all wandered into the nice living room and we were looking around like it was some kind of magical fortress headquarters and then the doorbell rang and we all panicked.
Eric: And we all hid behind the couches totally fucking petrified. I remember my heart pounding through my shirt. It was like we were Jews and the Nazis just rang the doorbell. I was shitting my pants.
Peter: I thought I was shitting my pants at the beginning.
Marco: After everyone hid I decided that me and Kevin were going to handle it. I grabbed him as he was trying to hide and said “YOU!” You were a good sport though.
Kevin: I knew I had to do it with you, but it was like going into hell to fight the devil.
Marco: When we opened the door and saw that kid. What was he, a bee?
Kevin: Yeah, he was a bee and his dad was Frankenstein but he was literally a bee and his dad was literally Frankenstein. I’m getting butterflies remembering this.
Marco: Me too. I’m still traumatized by it. Fuck. I remember just thinking, “These fuckers came here for candy so let’s give them candy and get them out of here.”
Kevin: Yeah, I think we poured the entire bowl your mom left into that kid’s pillowcase. I don’t remember exactly how much we gave him but I distinctly remember him looking up with his yellow bee face and going, “Wow, thanks mister!” His dad was happy too. He didn’t get that we were in a complete state of panic.
Marco: I was so relieved after we closed the door. Fuck, I know what you mean about the butterflies.
Kevin: After we closed the door everyone slowly started coming out of hiding. It was like the villagers emerging after the monsters had left.
Blake: After Frankenstein left.
Kevin: Everyone was in awe that we had spoken to the outside world.
Blake: I left soon after that. I went home too early.
Peter: Didn’t you tell your mother or something?
Blake: Yes. It’s pretty embarrassing. I went home and tried to play guitar for about 15 minutes but it was too weird so I told my dad I was high. He freaked out and interrogated me until I squealed on Paul. I wasn’t allowed to hang out with you guys after that. I remember my mom coming into my room the next morning and asking me why I just didn’t stay out longer until the effects wore off.
Peter: That high lasted forever. My girlfriend drove 45 minutes out to pick me up and take me home. I told my mom I was fucked up and she made me a cheeseburger — no questions asked and then they both put me to bed. I remember calling Al Moore and telling him to tell our boss what good women my mother and my girlfriend are.
Marco: That night I just figured I was having a fucked up drug party that we would all forget about the next day. I had no idea we’d all be remembering every detail two fucking decades later. I hope little kids today realize hallucinogens are not just keg stands—that you will remember every fucking detail forever. Not that that’s a bad thing.
Eric: It was fun.”
